NaNoWriMo Snacks: Now Fat-Free!

Last night, I was obsessed with earning the 5000 word badge on my NaNoWriMo dashboard. So obsessed, in fact, that I stayed up late writing drippy sentences that I subconsciously padded with words like "however" and "moreover."

Gross. And, moreover, so not productive.

Strunk and White, patron saints of elegant precision that they were, had something to say about striking these nothing words from your sentences. Here are some takeaways.

AVOID QUALIFIERS

Rather. Really. Very. Fairly. Pretty. Little. Quite. Often.

You don't always need them. Sometimes they can lend nuance but often they're just lard. 

Compare:

Mama June was a very obtuse woman. 

Mama June was an obtuse woman, her face arranged in an impervious stupor as her young daughter begged for more Mountain Dew. 

In the second sentence, we're omitting the "very," and instead giving the reader an example; providing supporting evidence of Mama June's alleged obtuseness. (I can think of better examples, but this is a family blog.)

DON'T BE AN ACTOR

When writing dialogue, you don't need to give emotive stage directions for every spoken line. Be wary of adverbs immediately following "he said" and "she replied."

Compare:

“All that vajiggle jaggle is not beautimous,” Mama June cried out indignantly.

“All that vajiggle jaggle is not beautimous,” Mama June said. 

Two things: Mama June is undoubtedly the Doctor Seuss of our time; and both of these sentences work, depending on the effect you want. The trick is in letting sentences like the first one "pop" by simplifying the surrounding sentences.

“All that vajiggle jaggle is not beautimous,” Mama June cried out indignantly.

"I don't care, Mama," sighed Honey Boo Boo dramatically. 

All that literary vajiggle jaggle is not beautimous. Let's try it this way:

“All that vajiggle jaggle is not beautimous,” Mama June cried out indignantly.

Honey Boo Boo said that she didn't care and walked out the door. 

Better, but since it's such a colorful sentence, I'm not sure it needs the "indignantly":

“All that vajiggle jaggle is not beautimous,” Mama June said. 

Honey Boo Boo said that she didn't care and walked out the door. 

Clean and colorful, with the emphasis on the vajiggle jaggle just where it ought to be. 

Don't be tempted to go back into what you've already written and cut out all the vajiggle jaggle. That's what December's for. Today, focus on making those 1,667 words beautimous and fat-free.