RE: TGIF

Back when I was young and perky enough to be paid to sling cocktails, I used to find TGIF-type catch phrases incredibly pedestrian. Now that I have my very own gray cubicle, (seriously, why always gravestone gray? The cubicle just might be the most self-aware piece of furniture in history. It knows its purpose, and it knows it's a damn depressing one.) I've revised my position. Friday is actually amazing and it is impossible to over-exhault its virtues. Friday mornings are always tinged with a delicious nostalgia- there's a sweetness in going about my tasks and knowing that I won't have to do them again for two whole days. The corporate culture that seems so oppressive on Mondays feels manageable, almost quaint. "Team," the emails always read. I am not a team on Fridays. I am a human beast with a barbaric yawp that cannot be stifled by gray cubicles, and I am only 8 hours away from returning to my natural state of unbridled laziness.

Team,

In celebration of Our Venerable Friday, take 10 minutes and write a letter from the management. Chances are, a character you're writing now or a character you've written in the past has some sort of job. Most people that we write about do, so this is good stuff to know. The management in question doesn't have to be a corporation - it could also be a church, a cult, an educational institution, a mental institution, an exceedingly streamlined home, a gang, or some sort of wild cyber-world with lots of rules. You do you, but only do it for 10 minutes unless you're really on fire. It is Friday, after all.
Here are a few common management buzzwords to get you started:

Team
Opportunity
Use of the Royal We
Logistics
Metrics
Solutions
Development
Interdepartmental

For even more inspiration, the corporate bullshit generator fills me with contemptuous joy.
Make sure to throw out or take home all of your items in the fridge or they'll be thrown away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!